I have a friend who has been a Christian for over 20 years. A time came in her life when she turned from the Lord. The Lord kept trying to draw her back unto Him and eventually did. Today she clings to God and there's no doubt that she pleases Him. I could give you many more stories like this.
Let's see what the Lord has to say:
Jer 3:12
12 Go and proclaim these words toward the north, and say, Return, thou backsliding Israel, saith the LORD; and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful, saith the LORD, and I will not keep anger for ever. (KJV)
Here we see that Israel, even when they were in such sin that it polluted the whole land, God still loved and wanted them to return that He might have mercy and that He wouldn't keep His anger against them forever. The same is true for you today.
2 Peter 3:9
9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. (KJV)
God is not willing that you should perish, but has been very patient with you, that you would come to repentance. God's love for you is so great that when you were yet a sinner Christ died for you! (Rom 5:8) Not only has He been waiting for you, He's been looking for you too!
Luke 15:3-7
3 And he spake this parable unto them, saying,
4 What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?
5 And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing.
6 And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.
7 I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance. (KJV)
Were you not the one sheep which left the flock? You even heard the Lord, our Good Shepherd calling to you. And now there is rejoicing in heaven because you've been found! You are like the humble publican, which sought the Lord's mercy and found it.
Luke 18:9-14
9 And he spake this parable unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others:
10 Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.
11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.
12 I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
13 And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.
14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted. (KJV)
God has not pleasure in the death of the wicked, but is pleased when the wicked, or even backslider, turns to Him and repents of his ways.
Ez 18:21-23
21 But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die.
22 All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live.
23 Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? saith the Lord GOD: and not that he should return from his ways, and live? (KJV)
Yes, this is hope for you! God still loves you and cares for you greatly. He will forgive your sins, infact, He will aboundantly pardon them!
Isa 55:7
7 Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. (KJV)
1 John 1:9
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (KJV)
God does care for you and desires to be with you. At this point in your life don't look at ministry or your calling; I know what your calling is; it's to be a child of God. It's not going to be an easy road for you because of all the hurt and pain in your life and in those around you, but God will help heal these things in time. Yes, you will have His peace again! But it may not be overnight. Stay close to God. Pray and read His Word everyday. Find fellowship with others who really love the Lord.
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